Ya girl got ghosted. And fun fact: it sucks.
Honestly, though, I think being mercilessly ghosted is a twenty-something rite of passage. So I can check that off the list. I should also make it clear; I have a very generous definition of ghosting. If we have a bad first (or second) date, I don’t expect a text – and honestly I might not text you either. I guess I make it hard to ghost me. But this dude figured it out.
He met my roommate. I told my therapist about him. We had a DTR. And then… radio silence. I’m vulnerable enough to admit that my feelings are hurt. Rejection suuuuucks. Obviously, I’m gonna be fine. Mama didn’t raise no weenie. But there’s an extra level of hurt, because I thought he was going to be ~different~. Yes, I am a sucker.
All of my friends would tell you that the red flags were there. Long gaps in texting, having to harass him to hang out, lots of plan cancelling. And I excused it all. I’m not trying to paint him as a bad dude. I was just being pretty dumb.
I’ve thought about why I chose to ignore every sign I would have told my friends to read very closely. And I keep coming to the same conclusion: I liked him. *Shrugging emoji*. But I definitely learned some new lessons from my newfound idiocy.
- I shouldn’t be so quick to judge people when they make dumb excuses for the people they like. Been there, done that.
- Being romantically vulnerable is bullshit. Never doing that again. Jk jk…kinda.
- Sometimes I’m not going to get the last word. And I have to be okay with that.
That last lesson is rough. When I first realized I was being ghosted, I wanted him to text me back and apologize and make it all better. Now I want him to text me back so I can let him know that I’m pissed and how he was shitty to me. But I’m probably not going to get that chance. If only I had a blog where I could whine about it…
While I wait for a text that will never come, I guess I’ll just re-download Tinder and be grateful that Ben & Jerry’s just released a non-dairy cookie dough ice cream.
What about you guys, what are the biggest dating lessons you’ve learned? Let me know in the comments below.