Being home for Thanksgiving was…weird. My mom officially converted my room into “guest accommodations.” I no longer have a social life in my own hometown. And I flew to Missouri from Vegas, so I had no car during the day.
I guess I hadn’t realized that combo would throw me off. But it certainly did. I had a bit of meltdown on my first night at home, when both of my parents were out having social lives. I was laying on a bed that wasn’t really mine, in a room that I no longer had anything to with, and I just cried.
In college, holiday breaks were full of social activity. I would split time between my parents during nights and weekends, and run around town with my friends during the weekdays. But graduating college coincided with the ending of some damn-near lifelong friendships (yes, drama, but for another blog). Now the only friends I have from my hometown all live in the Southwest, too.
I spent about five days at home for Thanksgiving and it wasn’t all bad. I hung out with my dog, started watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Broad City, and ate homemade cookie dough. But it was kind of a sad reminder that I’m living a life in between. Vegas is amazing, but it doesn’t feel like home yet. I’m still building my social life here. And Iowa certainly isn’t my home base anymore. My time at home in Missouri just isn’t the same as it used to be. I think I just had to realize and mourn that fact. It’s heartbreaking that I’m no longer in contact with the friends I tap danced with at age four or who threw me surprise a 17th birthday party. But apparently life moves on.
Luckily, I’m still in contact with my college pals, even as though they’re strewn across the Midwest. Unfortunately, the next time I’m back at home (for Christmas) they will be at their parents’ homes, which aren’t in driving distance of mine. So I get to be sad about that. Yay.
For Christmas, I’m only going to be home for about three days. Enough time to be festive with the fam; not enough time to wallow in loneliness. Let’s see if I can figure out how to be happily home for the holidays.
What’s it like for you to be in your hometown? Do you still have a social life there? Am I the only lonely weirdo? Let me know in the comments below!