Eudaimonia. It doesn’t look like a real word. But I’m pretty sure it is. The definition, according to my Googling, is, a little more complicated. The definition I prefer is from ethicist Ryan Huber; I’m not fancy enough to keep up with ethicists, but I do listen to the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness. On the episode “How to Apply Ethics to Everyday Life? With Ryan Huber,” Huber describes eudaimonia as ultimate human fulfillment. Along with that definition, he describes that amazing feeling of when you hit your bed after a day working hard at something you’re passionate about. A fulfilling exhaustion.

That’s all I want, and right now I don’t have it. I’m exhausted at the end of the day. But without the feeling of contentment. Boredom and dissatisfaction are also tiring.

According to Huber, the road to eudaimonia involves asking the question “did I get closer to becoming the person I’m meant to be today?” Most days, I feel as if I have to answer “no” to that question. I want to work toward that. But I honestly don’t know how.